She asks: Should I read books and attend courses about motherhood while single?
Yes, this period is the period of preparation, learning, and readiness . Everyone teaches you how to manage the household , such as cooking and arranging, and this is common and well-known in daily routines, but who teaches you how to be a good mother!
Take advantage of this period to read and obtain provision , and be certain that what you gain in the present is the harvest and what you will reap in your upbringing in the future. Be prepared for all the goals and objectives of marriage!
As much as you care about being a good wife, care about being a good mother!
Acquiring the foundations, the ruling of priorities, interpersonal skills and reality, and directing the compass of purpose and achieving the means..
These are things that must be learned and dealt with, knowing the stages of a child’s development and psychological change, and dealing according to the age stage, as a child in childhood is not the same as in adolescence.. .
Does this mean that parenting is difficult?
If we take this concept according to the common approach and prevailing custom, then it is an easy matter, and this is what we witnessed in our parents and grandparents . They were certain that fathers and mothers were able to bear the responsibility and carry it out . Since ancient times, people have raised their children spontaneously , that is, as they saw, heard, and were familiar with . Most of them raise their children as they were raised, and behave as those before them did, without scrutiny or study.
Here is the key. The foundational method is very important, and this brings us back to the necessity of familiarizing ourselves with the approach of the Salaf and the Companions and following the Qur’an and Sunnah in trivial matters so that the son becomes a man who will lead this nation!
Here, it is necessary to point out an important point. In the past, the trend was to create a responsible, energetic generation, and they made the goal of living and urging endurance and patience the same as seeking knowledge and deeds , which resulted in neglecting the aspect of learning about the child’s psyche and the stages of intellectual and physical development, so an opposite trend was achieved in this time, and its result was Excessive attention to the emotional and psychological aspect of the child. They went to extremes in learning about methods, approach, and going along with every matter and every step, and taking into account inclinations, personalities, and whims!
Educational methods, contemporary discourses, the family and individual mentality, the methodological foundations of giving, dialogue, give-and-take, the educational system... all these concepts and systems, since they went along with the variables of modernity, the nation’s production has become confined to one corner!
Producing a generation that is psychologically fragile, mentally exhausted, and self-defeating! complains about the simplest things, falls down at the first stumbling block... without even achieving the aspired goals ! We did not save the rising generation and we did not experience individual or social escalation. Rather, the number of talented people decreased and the number of weak people and those with mental illnesses increased.
We mentioned this previously in this article : “How do I raise my son away from psychological fragility?”
We return to the same question: Is parenting really difficult?
Parenting and motherhood are innate, but the difference that occurs is the chaos, intensification, and emphasis in this regard. It is a praiseworthy matter if the woman herself is aware of the misfortunes and tribulations prevailing around her, so the need for her to have a heightened sense of security as a mother increases so that she actually realizes that she is in a position of defense and attack, raising her child in accordance with the Islamic law , and she strives to advance and raise her resolve, and her only way is to be “a mother equal to a
nation!”
As I mentioned at the head of the article, these are only principles that must be followed.
The bottom line is that parenting is essentially a responsibility, not a difficult process, nor an impossible task, and facilitation depends on the level of achievement. For sharpness and achievements help you to neither exaggerate nor underestimate problems !
Take matters in their dimensions and place the issues in their proper place, and everyone can raise and upbring a unique and distinguished rising generation only if there's enough will and choice !
Choose to be a good, caring mother, determine the landmarks of the path, walk, and trust in Allah Almighty!
And know that you are a mother equal to a nation! You can change all equations with your good deeds for boys and girls!
So be a good role model and be a good parent!
And do not add to the burden of the nation the burden of a weak and useless generation!
Striving to create a righteous generation is jihad!
Whoever strives, is patient , and perseveres in parenting will reap the fruits of righteousness in her children..!
And Allah is the arbiter of success...
